The Cult of Climate Change

The Most Illegitimate Issue in the History of Mankind and the Most Existential Threat to American Freedom and Prosperity

On his first day as the illegitimate president of the United States Joe Biden fittingly wasted no time in slipping on his Captain Planet tights over his walking boot and taking on the most important illegitimate issue in the history of mankind: the existential threat of man made climate change.

With several strokes of his pen the former champion of segregation and nominal leader of the cult known as the Democrat Party heroically and compassionately condemned man’s dangerous and irresponsible evolution from the caves to the comforts of heated and air conditioned homes. Every American should find cause to celebrate the end of the Keystone Pipeline and our revived commitment to curb CO2 emissions in the United States. 

Today marks a joyously dark moment in American history. The days of war against tyranny and external threats have come to an end and a new day of wars against liberty and ourselves has begun. Our permit to “climb from the swamp to the stars” has been revoked and a new mandate has been given to return to our glorious natural state in the swamp from which we climbed. The days of progress have ended and the days of regress have begun.

America has embarked on a new voyage today. At last our 245 year journey from the harbor of despotism has come to an end and a new voyage back towards the tyranny from which we escaped has commenced. But don’t be discouraged, because the intentions of our Democrat captors, who have wrested control of our mighty vessel, are as virtuous as those of the Democrat plantation owner, who nobly believed the slave was better off in a system in which their lives were run by others. It is better to live in chains under the protection of the Democrat party in the swamp than to live freely and fend for ourselves amongst the stars. 

One day in the future, when our politicians no longer deem outdoor dining patios and church auditoriums dangerous places of death and disease, and grant us their permission to eat outside and worship together, we can lock arms in the streets, from sea to shining sea, and collectively cry out with voices of joy and gratitude; for protecting us from Covid and now protecting our fragile planet from the dangerous carbon dioxide we exhale. 

Like the necessary sacrifice of our life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness to combat the deadly threat of Covid, which has a shocking mortality rate of 0.01% for 25 year olds and 0.4% amongst 55 year olds, our renewed and zealous determination to further destroy our economy, put millions more Americans out of work, become reliant on foreign governments for resources, and forfeit what remains of our liberty are a small but important price to pay for the salvation of our planet.

It has been 51 long years since climate scientists first warned us in earnest of this grave and existential threat to our species. On April 16th, 1970, a Thursday, the Boston Globe published a news article with the headline: “Scientist predicts a new ice age by 21st century.” Had Joe Biden only listened back then, instead of drowning out their warnings with his speeches in support of segregation, we could have avoided the ice age and famine that we were assured would follow.

Because of our inaction, five years later, in 1975, the threat was moved to red alert when an article published in International Wildlife Magazine informed its readers that “the threat of a new ice age must now stand alongside nuclear war as a likely source of wholesale death and misery for mankind.” But for the energy crisis under Jimmy Carter’s leadership, in which millions of Americans faced price hikes and fuel shortages, forcing gas station closures on Sundays, and homeowners to refrain from putting holiday lights on their houses, the imminent nuclear winter predicted by renowned climate scientists around the world may very well have come to pass.

While the predicted devastation failed to materialize, the global cooling persisted, and in 1976 the New York Times assured us again that the cooling trend would lead to imminent famine. It seemed that Joe Biden’s breathless and irresponsible exhalations opposing racial integration had at least bought us a few more years, but had failed to reverse the irreversible damage inflicted on our climate due to mankind’s unnatural presence. Two years later, in 1978, the New York Times sang the same tune, writing that there was no end in sight to the 30 year cooling trend. Avid skiers and winter apparel brands were giddy with excitement. Until they received some devastating news.

The “winter apocalypse” sung by “the Scientific Consensus” was apparently off key. The band was broken up by new data, and a new generation of scientists took the stage. These new experts began to sing a new tune, which quickly gained popularity and took the scientific community by storm. Ten years later global cooling was replaced by global warming, and the American public and world at large began to embrace this hip, new tune. Tastes had changed, but the lyrics remained mostly the same. 

Throughout the 1980’s, while Ronald Reagan wasted his time slowing the spread of Communism, which was only responsible for the paltry deaths of tens of millions of men, women, and children around the world, the threat of global warming was threatening to end all life on the planet. While President Reagan expanded his carbon footprint by spewing carbon dioxide via speeches intended to prevent a nuclear war with the USSR, he was ignoring the real danger of global warming, and hastening its arrival.

In 1988 scientists and leading climate experts predicted the Maldive islands and Manhattan would be under water by 2018. In 1989 environmental officials at the U.N. warned “entire nations could be wiped off the face of the earth by rising sea levels if the global warming trend is not reversed by the year 2000.” But America did nothing. We continued to pump CO2 carelessly into the atmosphere as if to welcome the loss of the Maldives and lower Manhattan. 

While millions of Americans complained of increased population density in our cities and worsening traffic on our bridges and highways, we seemed all too content to overlook the traffic that would be created when the West Side Highway over the Hudson River sank beneath the rising tide of the Atlantic Ocean.

In 2004 the Guardian newspaper dropped a verbal nuclear bomb to rattle the world from its complacency. They reported that a secret suppressed government report that had been leaked predicted Britain would be “plunged into a Siberian climate by 2020,” and that “nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.” Even the thoroughly discredited ice age predictors joined the chorus of global warming doomsayers. While the icemen were forced to confess they had been wrong, they assured us the global warming alarmists were right. Man made global warming could simultaneously reduce Britain to a frozen tundra and Manhattan to a sunken Atlantis. While the ice age never came, global warming would fulfill their prophecy instead.

In 2008 a scientist on ABC predicted Manhattan would be under water by 2015. In 2009 Al Gore said the Arctic would be ice free by 2014. In 2014 the French foreign minister standing alongside John Kerry declared “we have 500 days to avoid climate chaos.” The more the climate changers’ predictions failed to come true, the more disastrous their predictions became and the less time we were told we had to act to avert catastrophe. Makes sense if you don’t think about it.

Frustration amongst the climate changers’ ranks continued to mount as tens of millions of Americans refused to accept their indisputable evidence. Mankind was supposed to “depend on science and scientists to cast a beam of light into the dark tunnel of civilization’s future,” as one astute writer declared. Just because nothing the climate changers had predicted for half a century had come true was no justification for Americans’ resistance to their prophetic warnings. Sure, the Maldives and Manhattan remained above water and the isle of Britain had yet to be enveloped in snow and ice, but how could any human being be so ignorant and indifferent to ignore the obvious signs of calamity and world destruction?

But the scientists were not deterred from their mission or responsibility by the masses’ obstinance to their prophetic warnings. Like religious terrorists, they charged forward, their cause and fight too noble and their faith too strong to be derailed by something so trivial as reality. After decades of repeated hysterical attempts to convince the masses of the error of mankind’s ways, only one tactic remained; a tactic employed to this day.

The climate changers demean those of us who reject their debunked conspiracy theories with the same embarrassing zeal as the Democrat Party indicts their political opponents as racists and terrorists. The climate cult is the same as the covid cult. The Democrat Party embraces both to achieve the usurpation of our Rights and liberty. They use “science” to justify their amoral seizure of power and to convince fearful and vulnerable Americans to relinquish their freedom without a fight.

Climate changers are neither scientific, nor intellectually superior. They are truth deniers. They are the unfortunate victims of brainwashing. The cult to which they have pledged allegiance is no more rational or benign than the cult of the Branch Davidians, led by the self proclaimed messiah David Koresh. Perhaps like David Koresh, slow Joe believes in his similarly deranged illusion of the end of times and himself to be the savior of our planet. Or perhaps his Captain Planet tights are cutting off circulation to his brain.

The earth is 4.54 billion years old, molten at inception with temperatures as high as 3,600 degrees. Our planet was born, shaped, and changed by volatility far beyond any man’s control or comprehension. Dinosaurs, the object of never ending fascination and study, roamed the earth for 165 million years. The seven continents mankind today calls home were once arranged together as one great supercontinent we call Pangea. 

65 million years ago the long and prosperous reign of the dinosaurs came to an abrupt end. While the fish splashed in the seas and the birds flew across the skies, and the herbivores munched on plants and carnivores feasted on meat, an asteroid half the size of Manhattan crashed into our planet and wiped the helpless and unsuspecting dinosaurs from the face of the earth. If only the Democrats had been around to prevent it.

Earthquakes, landslides, and tsunamis wreaked havoc on our planet. The entire earth was bathed with radiation from ballistically rendered ejecta. Translation? The earth was on fire. Then the sun was blocked for a year by the dust and soot that filled our atmosphere. Extreme global cooling ensued. The fortunate few who may have survived the initial heat, succumbed to the freezing temperatures, which followed.

Since then the earth is believed to have experienced 5 significant ice ages, the variations in the earth’s orbit and shifting plate tectonics believed to be the cause of the waxing and waning of these periods. These colder global temperatures are believed to last hundred of millions of years at a time, interspersed with shorter periods of warmer temperatures, in which glaciers retreat and then advance.

As recently as 56 million years ago scientists believe the earth experienced various heat spikes. Carbon emissions from intense volcanic activity are attributed to raising the earth’s temperature, and rescuing our planet from frigid and uninhabitable conditions. The average surface temperature back then is believed to have been as high as 90 degrees, 30 degrees warmer than it is today. The poles were free of ice caps and palm trees and crocodiles could be found above the Arctic Circle. If only the climate changers had been there to right this wrong.

Only 200,000 years ago did the two legged wonders known as homo sapiens rise from the ground to walk upright in a place today called Africa. Modern civilization has only been around for 10,000 years. Records of surface temperatures on Earth have only existed since the 1880’s. And yet climate changers have the audacity to claim that our presence, based on their study of temperature data compiled from 141 years of a 4.54 billion year history, is responsible for the heating of the planet. Frankly, there’s no less scientific claim, backed up with more incomplete data, than that of man made climate change. It’s less than scientific, it’s moronic. The evidence of aliens, ghosts, and spontaneous combustion is more abundant than that of man made climate change.

Their climate conspiracies are born of pure arrogance and ignorance. These cultists are the same people who believe that robbing one man and giving to another stimulates the economy, that gender is an invention of man, and that babies aren’t alive until they emerge from a mother’s womb. These are the same people whose consciences are disturbed by the hunting of buffalo to extinction in the 19th century, but accuse the proliferation of cattle in America of farting the ice caps into extinction today.

Many of these brilliant scientists and their cult followers drive electric cars to save the environment, seemingly unaware that the electricity needed to power their public displays of solidarity with mother Earth’s plight comes from coal. Their conviction of earth’s imminent demise due to carbon emissions is so overwhelming that the greatest advocates live in mansions, fly in private jets, and travel in an armada of SUV’s. Joe Biden and the other leaders of the climate change cult are no different than David Koresh, who demanded celibacy from his followers, while taking 20 wives for himself.

The climate change cult exists for one purpose: to render us slaves and the government masters. If any reader doubts such an insidious intent, consider COVID. Scientific consensus has been used to supplant the reality we experience and witness with our own eyes. In California the percentage of available ICU beds is used to determine whether a county is forced into lockdown or allowed to remain partially open. It is hardly unusual for ICU bed availability to be low. A hospital’s purpose is to treat the sick and their income is earned through doing so. A manufacturing plant doesn’t build excess space and buy equipment intended to remain unused. Similarly a hospital doesn’t invest in beds and personnel to sit idly by as hospital decor. ICU beds are intended to be filled. No service oriented enterprise allocates availability in excess of what they project to fill or use. If a restaurant serves 100 customers on average for dinner service, the owner doesn’t add 50 additional tables so he can proudly proclaim his capacity on any given evening is only at 50 percent.

The climate changers would have us believe that every hurricane, every tornado, every fire, every hot day or cold day is the result of man’s presence on the earth. They act as if inclement weather wouldn’t exist, but for man. The COVID cult similarly would have us believe that death and illness are new and unprecedented threats to man. Their “science” conveniently omits any data from the past. Their apathy of history and perspective precludes them from clarity and truth.

California has implemented the most draconian lockdown measures in the country to combat COVID and experienced the most disastrous results. Florida long ago eliminated all lockdown measures and mandates and has experienced greater success. Before man’s presence on the earth, the surface temperature was 90 degrees. Today it’s approximately 59 degrees. Despite the actual science, which we can see and study with our own eyes, the Democrat Party cult maintains that lockdowns and masks work and mankind is responsible for the weather.

We are living in a new dark age, in which reason and enlightenment have been replaced by ignorance and destruction. Today Joe Biden and the Democrat Party condemn electricity, automobiles, and beef with the same conviction as previous leaders condemned the likes of Hitler and communism. Many Americans blindly follow such blatant lunacy with the same loyalty as the Branch Davidians followed David Koresh. But even members of the isolated Davidian cult began to defect. Even the most devout cultists must eventually confront the truth and the cult leader’s deceit. It is my sincere hope that the same happens in America today, sooner rather than later. If not, our freedom, safety, and prosperity will disappear long before the ice caps. The most existential threat to Americans is not climate change, but the cult masquerading as the Democrat Party. 

But I’d like to make my own bold prediction, not as a scientist, but as an American citizen. The Democrat Party’s reign of tyranny and terror will end long before the end of Earth and mankind. For 245 years Americans have tirelessly opposed those who would alter our course for freedom, and we’ll do so again today, even if that threat is called the Democrat Party.